but what if really.

what if someday down the line, catastrophe.
heartbreak, confusion,
relapse, retraction, surrender one way or the other.

but in this other possibility,
if one person who saved him had something much bigger to attend to

if all the losses all built up to the biggest jackpot,
the saving of four lives, a wholeness of a whole unit,

a family that had never been
that was happening already

what if he just knew
the big he

he had something huge in mind
and there had to be cyclical pain

but why do we fault him for putting us through it
if we’ll endure other anguishes for eventual, or only potential, victory?

he had someone planned
and it wasn’t the plan

but drastic things make drastic things happen later

sometimes later is an awfully long wait

but if you had just walked away instead of pulling the handle,
poverty would have seen your feet to the door

a chance last shrug with your last two cents

and suddenly that loss makes more sense
to the person who received the heart of the donor.